so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
