im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
