I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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