He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
