John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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