You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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