Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize