Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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