weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
