I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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