I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize