As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
