It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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