They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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