I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
