bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
