I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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