woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
