brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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