it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize