i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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