I love black thongs
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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