I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
