I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
