I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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