matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
