it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
