Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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