So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Come share oat with me in your robe
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
