Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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