ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
