This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
