We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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