i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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