Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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