look no pants
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
