She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
