Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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