i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I fill condoms, not promises.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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