There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
