I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
