I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think my vagina is haunted
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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