I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
