it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
