I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
