I like to think it a success when the cops are called
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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