he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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