it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
