Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
