dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
