Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
