Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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