Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
