OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Say something about gay babies.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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