He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
