the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
