your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
