Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
