Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
