Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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