A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
